Elephant Juice

I remember a conversation with Matt where he told me that if you want to mouth the words ‘I love you’ to someone, it’s actually better to mouth the words ‘Elephant juice’ because it will look more like ‘I love you’ since there is no sound. Of course, having such a conversation meant trying it out a lot, mouthing ‘Elephant juice’ and ‘I love you’ over and over to each other.

This afternoon, I was walking in the neighborhood with the kids. Summer and Cole had run ahead and Luke was disappointed he couldn’t keep up. “I’m tired,” he says and begins to trudge like an old man. Right on the spot, I invented ‘I love you juice.’ “Do you need some ‘I love you juice’?” I ask him.

“Yes,” he says.

“Do you know what that is?” I ask. And just as I know exactly what it is, Matt’s face mouthing ‘elephant juice’ with exaggerated expression and silliness flashes before my mind’s eye. “It’s the ‘I love you’ that helps you do whatever you need to do.”



This made me laugh then cry this morning:

Awesome Invisible Bike Helmet

I laughed because the article is hilarious. Then I watched the video and cried because it made me think of Matt. I remember back in college Matt took a business course. He had to do a group project where he came up with a product concept and marketed it. Matt came up with the idea of pre- triggering airbags by adding a sensor to the car that would sense an imminent collision. The idea was that the airbag could be deployed in a way that was less harmful to the person in the car by having more time to deploy. (I think something like this does exist now.) Matt chose the name Aegis for his product to bring up that image of protection.

For some reason, I misremembered Aegis as being a king of Greek mythology. After looking it up, I see that the Aegis was the shield or breastplate of Zeus and Athena (funny that a God should need a shield) and “is identified with protection by a strong force.” Matt loved doing that project and 20 years later, I can see the threads that came out of that experience for him. Going into a marketing career. Working on a product (LiveMosaic) that he thought was a really good idea. Sticking with the Greek mythology references (Prometheus is the name of the LiveMosaic code base). Choosing a product that he thought would enrich and improve people’s lives.


Recently, I was telling a friend that Matt and I never really dated. She laughed at me and said, “What? You just got married?”

What I meant was that we didn’t really go on dates. Matt just kind of attached himself to me and would invite himself along to wherever I was going. Of course, we were in college so a lot of the time, it also meant that Matt would just sit down next to me in the dorm cafeteria or on the lawn in early fall to enjoy the weather. I’m sure I was also inclined to stop and talk to him when I saw him because he made it so easy.

After we were a couple, I learned that all along Matt was using his strategy to “reel me in.” He told me that in high school, his best friend and he had discovered a very successful way to attract women. He would approach a girl and be very friendly, talking her up (“macking” as I learned the term from Matt), and generally giving her a lot of attention. Then he would withdraw that attention. Nine times out of ten, the girl when then come after him. I wouldn’t say I ever went after Matt, but it was so easy to talk and be with him that it was natural to progress from friendship to dating. And he always made me laugh.


Our Words

I am heartbroken 🙁
I loved the site and as parents of 4, our youngest was the inspiration for subscribing… it was literally her baby book and filled with important memories of our family. Some of the photos I cannot replicate, and I am beyond sad about everything being deleted. My sister in law maintained a subscription with a site called babysite.com and they provided a disk of the site should you choose to choose to archive it. I went with Live Mosaic because I thought it was so much better. I have been feeling as if something precious has been stolen from me, since my inability to access the website began. Through web searching I found your husband’s obituary, and I have felt such sadness for you and what you and your children must be facing every minute of every day. I am so very sorry for your loss. I am overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do. I guess its really completely gone and I just don’t have much of a choice do I? It’s amazing… you must feel the same way. One persons life really does matter doesn’t it. We all have but a short time to do the right things, and live the best way we can. God Bless you and your family.