Our Words

By far the most intelligent person I’ve ever worked with in my career. Outgoing, Vocal, and highly creative.

-A. Martin on LinkedIn


Twice now I have been exposed to the fact that school guidance counselors are trained in the 5 stages of grief for handling grief with children. Whether or not it’s helpful, I really resist this description of grief as a process, so much so that I am not even going to talk about the 5 stages. Instead, I’d like to replace it with something I found on the internet by Michelle Devine:

Here are some things to remember:

• There is no finish line. This is not a race. Grief has its own lifespan, unique to you.

• There is no time when pain and grief are completed; you grieve because you love and love is part of you. Love changes, but does not end.

• What will happen, what can happen, as you allow your grief, is that you will move differently with pain. It shifts and changes: sometimes heavy, sometimes light.

• Anger will happen. So will fear, peace, joy, guilt, confusion, and a range of other things. You will flash back and forth through many feelings, often several of them at once.

• Sometimes you will be tired of grief. You will turn away. And you’ll turn back. And you’ll turn away. Grief has a rhythm of its own.

• Grief can be absolutely crazy-making. This does not mean you are crazy.

• There is no way to do grief “wrong.” It may be painful, but it is never wrong.

Remember that there is no “closure.” Grief is part of love, and love evolves. Even acceptance is not final: It continuously shifts and changes.

The truth is, you will seize up in the face of pain and soften into it, again and again, both things in rapid succession, and both things with silence in between. You’ll find ways to live inside your grief, and in doing so, it will find its own right place.

One thing I’d like to add from my experience is that grief does end. And it doesn’t end. It’s both. I’d also like to point out that the word grief in the quote above could naturally be replaced by a multitude of words– love, growth, birth, life…

Tungsten, Inc., April 26, 2007 – December 3, 2013

Last week I went down to the Comptroller’s office and then to the Secretary of State and officially dissolved Tungsten, Inc. The name Tungsten is so Matt. I remember him choosing it for the metal in lightbulbs which symbolizes ideas. The company was always a kind of aside in my mind since there wasn’t much to it and it wasn’t mine. But now that I think about it, it must have been very exciting to Matt to have the experience of starting his own company. Visiting the state government offices to dissolve the company was such a special experience that I can imagine just how magical it must have been to go through the steps of beginning. My role in the company was a sort of angel investor and I think in my mind that the company entity will rest as a seed bed for ideas. It is strange that even with the dissolution of Tungsten, I do not see that seed bed as extinguished.

The picture below is from when Live Mosaic went online. I haven’t recorded the exact dates for the website’s life because I don’t know them off hand. Maybe I will research it one day. Matt always spoke of and treated Tungsten and Live Mosaic so differently. Live Mosaic was the company’s product of the moment, and Tungsten was all encompassing of Matt’s ideas, past, present and future.


Gorham Melon Bud

Matt and I registered at Macy’s for our wedding gifts. I remember going with him to register. He was definitely into choosing all the things we wanted to furnish our house with, but I knew what I liked and considered the aesthetic choices to be left up to me for the most part. That is, Matt had veto power and went along with the rest. However, when it came to choosing flatware, I was completely overwhelmed with the choices and had very little sense of what I liked. Matt surveyed the field briefly, chose the Gorham Melon Bud pattern, and I went along with it. I don’t think that I would ever have chosen this pattern if left to myself. At the same time, it is beautiful and I have always been very happy with it.

I was thinking about this memory this Thanksgiving as I was eating with my parents’ flatware. On the one hand, it seems silly to be so particular about flatware. On the other hand, I have been eating with my Gorham Melon Bud for fifteen years and they are very special to me. They are special because Matt chose them so easily and with such good taste, and special because they are somehow wonderfully orthogonal to what I would have ever expected to be using.

Our Words


Great work. Here’s the updated info.

Key Dates
Date of Marriage                                                                      05/16/98
House in Austin Acquired                                                       09/05/02
2005 Nissan 350Z Acquired                                                   12/02/04
Formation of Tungsten, Inc. – Matt’s Business                 04/26/07
Bank of America Biz Bank Account Established               05/02/07
Matthew Started Work at Silicon Labs                                 02/16/09
Vanguard Brokerage Account (Non-IRA) Established    07/01/09
2011 Toyota Sienna Limited Acquired                                  03/08/10
Matthew Passes Away                                                              02/16/11